Friday 9 November 2012

Top Five Hottest Male Video Game Characters:

I decided to make a short post about the top five hottest male video game characters. I've looked up other lists and I'm just like... really, out of all the possible characters to pick you chose that? Ick. We deserve lists of hot men too!

And if any of you complain that I am objectifying men... so help me God. Like really, you have countless females prancing around in next to nothing (not that there's anything inherently wrong, it's just sad that it's most often the only option.) in an even greater amount of games and you're going to complain that I'm objectifying men? No no, that's not how this works. But you save me the complaints and I'll save you a lecture.

Also when I meant this was a quick post, I meant I'm making this at nearly four in the morning (when I started) but I thought you deserved something new.

Let's do something fun with this, a twist on a list. How about... What would I do with them? (get your minds out of the gutter.) I will describe what I would do with them and dates. Or lack of.

(WARNING! List may contain slightly mature content.)

5.) Jin Kazama from Tekken:

Let me introduce you to... Jin Kazama from the Tekken fighting series. He is the son of Jun Kazama and Kazuya Mishima. Jin is 5'11/180cm, he weighs 165lbs/75kg. He has black, spiky hair, brown eyes and is of Japanese descent.  He is currently 22 years old, and his love interest is Ling Xiaoyu (don't argue with me about this.) His life story is actually really sad, and he seems cold but this may be because he does not want to be close to people since he has the devil gene which causes him to morph into Devil Jin (did they name him Jin on purpose? Gene/Jin. I see what you did there, Namco.) I just have a soft spot for him, and his voice? -swoon-

(Note: The Tekken series is always really good for providing gamers with male and female eye candy. I could probably fill this whole list with Tekken characters.)

Activity Time:
He seems pretty serious, I would probably be his secretary or something equally entertaining /sarcasm. I'm sorry Jin, you're kind of boring. If it was a date I imagine he would take me to a fancy restaurant, but I would be so nervous and spill champagne on his Armani suit. He would then look at me like an adult looks at a child who spilled their milk, sigh, pay for the meal and leave never to see me again. D:

4.) Chris Redfield from Resident Evil:

First of all, I want to preface this by saying that he is not attractive in ALL incarnations, but in the one above, he definitely is. I thought about putting Leon S. Kennedy... but he has a horrible case of Teen Angst Hair. Anyways, Chris Redfield is the brother of Claire Redfield. He is 5'11-6'1/181cm-185cm and he weighs 177lbs-217lbs/80.5kg-98kg. He has blue/grey eyes and brown hair, he is white. He is obviously muscular and his looks are what I would call rugged or what Gamespy.com calls: "a cross between Colin Farrell and Hugh Jackman." I knew there was a reason I liked this guy, maybe it IS his resemblance to my beloved Colin Farrell? (I'm joking, that's not why, but Colin is handsome.) People say he's overrated, he's on steroids, blah blah blah. He's hot and that ladies and gents is what this list is all about.

Activity Time:
Chris and I would probably not get along, we would bicker a lot. One day we would be shooting zombies together, trying to do the whole save the world or at least the whole let's-not-get-our-pretty-faces-eaten-thing, my gun would jam just when an absolutely ridiculously large herd showed up, we'd be overwhelmed... and die. Because this is supposed to be real life, not a game. Sadly we don't get check points or the like. Date wise? I don't think I'd go on a date with him. He's good-looking which is why he's on the list, but I just can't see it happening.

3.) Nathan "Nate" Drake from Uncharted:


Can I just say that for some reason I find him utterly adorable? Maybe it's the eyes. I remember watching my brother playing Uncharted 3, I was like 'woah, who is that?' and my brother (who was eight) said to me 'he's handsome, right?' I laughed and agreed, it was cute. Apparently people have "have noted that he is a rare example of a physically attractive character who is not exploited by designers as a sex object." I never said I wouldn't exploit him. Because I will. I'm sorry (I'm not actually sorry.)

Photobucket
brb objectifying Nathan Drake
-Coughs- Let's get back on track. He is around 5'10, he is fairly muscular (but not overly so) and he has greenish-blue eyes and brown hair. He is white and he's supposed to be average, looks wise he isn't. At least to me he isn't, everyone has different tastes though. He is apparently afraid of clowns,  Drake I understand they freak me out too. If they ever make a movie Colin Farrell should totally play him, he would be absolutely perfect (and no I am not biased because I am a fan of Colin.) Nathan is supremely likeable and is often seen as the mascot for Playstation. The more you know -cue star and rainbow shooting across the screen-

Activity Time:
Let's get imaginative here, Nathan is off doing his thing. One day he meets a beautiful brunette name Chantal. She doesn't like him, at first, but soon they become friends. Eventually he invites her to look for... wait for it, Atlantis. -ShockGaspGasp- The two search for the mythical wonder, they stumble upon it. The Atlantians are nice, with awe inspiring technology. The two become great friend with the leader of the Atlantians. They  give Nathan piles and piles of gems and precious metals. The twosome agree to not tell anyone how to get to Atlantis, and... oh is this too outrageous? Alright, I'll reign it in. If it was a date he would probably take me to a niceish bar, we'd drink beer, play pool and maybe he would show me his various treasures. (Don't let your mind wander.) We would decide that we were better off friends and he would send me the occasional postcard. I just can't ship myself with anyone, and besides it is frowned upon.

2.) Z.W.E.I from Soul Calibur:

Z.W.E.I is not that well known, and he should be. The Soul Calibur games tend to be underrated/overlooked. This beautiful slice of beefcake is 6"/182cm, and 179lbs/81kg. He has tanned skin, short black hair, and turquoise eyes. Ethnicity wise? I am not too sure. I think he's a bit too high on the list... I didn't plan this list in advance. Sorry! He's pretty scary, but look at that chest. -lowwhistle- His character is one of the coolest ones on Soul Calibur 5.

Activity Time:
Since he lives in "ancient" times and he's pretty scary, I don't think I would survive an encounter with him. I'm joking, obviously. He would probably save me, out of pity. And then banish me from his sight, but that is a-okay. If it was a date? Let's not kid ourselves, there would be no date.

DRUM ROLL FOR NUMBER ONE PLEASE!

1.) Hwoarang from Tekken:

He is my absolute number one. Really. Just look at him, and I mean look at him. He's gorgeous. Hwoarang is the bad-boy of Tekken, and every girl loves a bad boy. He just doesn't give a fuck. Hwoarang is 5'11/181cm and weighs 150lbs/68kg. He has red hair (presumable dyed), brown or grey eyes (it's difficult to tell) and is currently 22 years old.  He is brash and cocky, this however IMO adds to his appeal.  I must confess that I ship Xiaoyu and Hwoarang as well. It's weird, he's amongst my favourite characters... but I can't find anything to say about him. Oh! You must watch his Tekken 6 ending, he has never looked better. His win poses are great, especially the one where he sits on his opponent. It makes me giggle every time. If there is one character you agree with me on this list, it has to be Hwoarang. The man is ridiculously hot. You could melt butter on him. He is difficult to use, using him when you have no idea what you are doing is guaranteed laughs. His stances are just funny.

(Note: I told you the Tekken series was good when it came to male eye candy. Two Namco characters on one list, that's bonkers. And I could have put many more on this list. I had to control myself though.)

Activity Time:
I am assigned to follow him around for a week, interviewing him for Fighters Monthly (I just made it up) and just plain ol' observing him. At first he is cold, and indifferent but eventually he warms up and playfully teases me. I note that he's a ladies man and consciously try to avoid becoming another fling. I never do and we remain buddies. I also get to see just how serious he is about training, and how much he enjoys Soju. Once our friendship is cemented we bicker a lot, but never stay mad at each other. If it was a date, well let's just say it would involve a bed and smooth-talking. What?  -innocent eyes-



There you go, my list of the hottest male characters and what I would do with each. Hopefully it's funny, and you enjoyed it. Do you agree with my picks? Sound off in the comments. I may do a part two in the future. I want to get all the basic lists done so I can move on to more exciting things.


-Chantal

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